I'm Not Them

 

Blogging, writing, teaching, styling, cooking, mentoring... you name it.... too many times I fall into the trap of thinking "I'm not good enough" or "[someone else] is/could be better."  Then it happened.  One day it just happened.  I realized, what I always told my kids and never owned myself:  I AM good enough... maybe someone else could do it better but God didn't pick them... He picked ME.

I'm not Ann Voskamp, wordsmith, photographer, home-educator, homemaker extraordinaire!  I bet she could whip up a loaf of bread, write an inspirational article with phenomenal pictures and hang the wash to dry before I could get all my kids done with their spelling.  She could be more successful, more artistic and more flexible... but I am not her.

I'm not Nancy Kelly with an amazing website where I LOVE to go and just sit because it is reminiscent of an old enchanted library and makes me think how our homeschool would be different if I had known then what I know now.  She can live and breathe a teaching style with such ease, creating a world with such beauty while I negotiate with my kids and just one.more.hour for history lessons.... I am not her.

The closest I can come to me is Heather S., I think of her as her blog name, Sprittibee.  Her life seems full of the same up and down chaos as mine, handled with the same holding.on.by.my.boot.straps as me.  I visit her site sometimes to remember I'm not alone!  I visit, sometimes, just to look at her amazing photography.  How.does.she.do.it.all?  I certainly can't.  I am not her.

I am not a lot of amazing people out there.... and I doubt any of those people would want me to be them!!  What I am, is me.  Thinking I should be others has kept me from saying and doing so much in my life.  And it isn't that I covet their lives or become some crazy stalker.  It is simply thinking I should be a better me... I should be able to do all the amazing things others can so I can be the best mom/wife/sister/friend/daughter.... and so on.

The truth is, there will always be somebody better than me.  It isn't about who's better than me but who God has called me to be.  What He has called me to do.  He has a unique purpose for each and every person and if I don't just focus on being the best me then what am I really being.  I can't be the best Ann Voskamp or Nancy Kelly or Sprittibee and I don't think they would want me to even try!!!  But I can be the best Amanda Jones.... I can do it with His strength coursing through me and if/when I mess up I can learn and try again!

When I jumped to Sprittibee's site to grab a link for you I saw she had re-vamped since my last visit and this quote was waiting there:

The only person you should try to be better than... is the person you were yesterday.

Scripture, as always, has wonderful things to say too:

 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 

Psalm 139:13-14 

I pray you know (or realize) you are not THEM... whoever the "thems" are in your life, rather, that you embrace who you ARE, who God created you to be and walk in that truth every minute of every day because no one can be as wonderful at you, as YOU!

Blessings,

 

The Art of Housewifery: To Do

I've been working on a book for.... hmmmm.... 10 years now.  Yes, 10 years.  It is slow and life is crazy but I am glad it is taking that long.... the older I get, the older my kids get, the more information I see as necessary.  The title?  "The Art of Housewifery"  Why?  Because I believe being a housewife is truly an art.  One which society wants to bag as a "JUST" job.

JUST a housewife.

JUST a stay-at-home mom.

JUST a homeschooler.

Women, we are never JUST anything!  We are so much more.

I could write on about how society gives housewifery a black eye.  About how the WWII era sparked women to begin pouring out of households by the droves.  About how the women's lib movement says we, women, are and ought to be treated equal to men.

But I won't waste the page space on those topics here!

We are NOT like men.  p.e.r.i.o.d.  Should we be treated fairly?  YES.  But more than all those issues, in my mind, is the lost art of housewifery and the complete lack of understanding (and implementation) of it.  Being a housewife (with or without children of any age) IS a full-time job.  But I will start with what it is NOT in order that I might dis-spell any myths which tend to taint our mighty calling.

It is NOT....

• watching t.v. all day.
• self-absorbed
• leaving jobs like dishes, laundry or any other remedial housework for husbands to do when they get home after a long day of work.... (I will elaborate)
• sleeping in because there is no 'job' to wake early for
• needlessly scheduling so much out of the house that you are rarely in the house (this isn't Beverly Hills T.V. housewives here!)

It is not anything which might fall under any one of the above categories.

It IS....

• a JOB

which means it IS...

• T.V.s off to eliminate distractions (and temptation!)
• focused on others above self
• looking at each task, each piece of laundry, dirty dish, vacuumed carpet and so on as OUR responsibility... (of course there are always sick days... ours or our families... health issues, emergencies and, best of all, those sweet little babies we have which require cuddles and feedings and distractions on every level.... simply evidence that a darling little life is one of the things more important than scrubbing pots and floors.)
• waking to soak up time with the Lord and time with the husband before he darts off for his day... waking early because our home and our family ARE our beloved job
• being at.home. to tend to the need-tos before running off and doing the want-tos.

It is so much more than I could write in one concise blog (which is why I am endlessly building a book on it!) and it is near and dear to my heart.  The art of housewifery is an endless attempt at balance and prioritizing which we don't always get right, but we work hard at, and doesn't end because the clock chimes "5". If we want to look at the rise in youth delinquency and divorce since wives/moms poured out of homes or the degradation of family values since women were told they didn't need a man or the art of housewifery, it would be a good start.  I know not everyone can (or is called to) be a stay-at-home.... but those who are need to know:

Your Job is a beautiful ART.

It is a worthwhile investment of time and energy.  And despite the dogma which clouds the housewifery of pre-liberation: homes, marriages, children... dare I say SOCIETY.... are happier with a housewife who realizes this.

Don't give up.

Keep your list of to-dos and invest.... invest in your family with your time and energy and watch the returns.  They may not happen right away and they may only trickle in at times.  But the returns, truly, are eternal.  The Lord is your strength for each task, each focus on others instead of self, because you know you are building a better future and deeper hope.

Each scrubbed floor, dusted shelf, fluffed pillows, clean dish and home-cooked meal = not just a house where people live but a HOME where family resides and a doorway for God's love to pour through.

I pray your to-dos don't do you in, that your eyes are focused on the greater goal for the road often makes us weary but the greater reward still lies ahead.  Press on.

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 3:14

Blessings,

Location.Location.Location; One Step Closer

The process of faith has always fascinated me.  The growth spurts and seasons of question... the way God is always faithful to those who seek His face, seek to be more like him.  I'm coming out of one such, year long, intense search.

Like a spiral which circles quickly at the center yet more slowly the farther out you go, such seems to be the Christian walk as our faith is tested and our understanding discovered.  Our lessons are easy(ish) and relatively fast early on.  But the longer you walk by faith the more complex the tests seem to be, requiring more time for proper discernment.

The challenge this past year has been location. location. location.  In which has been the necessity of spiritual discernment, answering the whys of life and seeking to FEEL completely in His presence and work completely in his grace and guidance.

• Location, geographically... why Billings, Lord?  When you called us out of the field to be tent-makers and outreachers, of all the places to send us.... why Billings? I so missed the views from 'home'.
• Location, ministry... where are we meant to minister?  In our home, on the street, in a church.... door #3?  Now that we aren't full-time missionaries, where do we serve?
• Location spiritually... who am I as a mature Christian?  I don't need the restraints of law... but where can I walk and related to the world yet still be in your will? ......

The last question, honestly, has been most recently prominent and perplexing.  I don't mind being different as a Christian.... I've always marched to the beat of my own drummer.... but where am I too different and removing myself from being able to speak into another's life?  Where do I become un-relational?  It came to the forefront at Christmastime.

I LOVE surrounding myself with EVERYTHING Christmas in December.  Decorations, dress, music, food, schoolwork, and t.v.  We don't subscribe to cable or satellite, instead we opt for the greater control (and cheaper monthly) Netflix.  This is my first year with Netflix on my t.v. and I began to browse everything Christmas they had to offer.  I saved interesting tid-bits to my 'library' and when opportunity arose, I watched them throughout December.

Many movies were ABC Family, so I figured: safe.... right?  I will admit they were cleaner than NON-Family movies, but some of them dealt with single woman who went out for drinks, flirted unabashedly, dressed rather risky and suggestions to pre-marital sex.  The milder and equally distracting content was the chasing after of worldly things... STUFF... and desires vs. seeking God's will and guidance in all of life's decisions, a more realistic aspect for a Christian worldview.  I was truly uncomfortable and, even though I walked a similar path in my young adult secular years, it is a path I would never re-walk.... definitely not one I want to encourage my children to walk.  So, to what point are these movies and my thoughts and intrigues appropriate and at one point do I start down a path which is quite difficult to come back from?  I'm reminded of the old saying:

Sin will take you farther than you want to go,

Keep you longer than you want to stay,

Cost you more than you want to pay.

Is it a sin to watch those t.v. shows?  They didn't show any explicit scenes.  Perhaps no.  However, if it causes my mind to travel a path separate from God, then I have to step back and gauge where I am standing.  Jesus is clear in Matthew 5:27-30, to think it is to do it, and while his grace covers so much more than we deserve, do I deliberately want to walk down a path which leads to unhappiness, dis-satisfaction and even influences my household in the same?  After all, a mind distracted by worldly things it cannot reach is not set to the joy and fulfillment of the Lord.

I struggled with this question.  Not wanting to be a prude yet not wanting to give the impression of sin in my life, even if it is not something I do.  You can imagine my joy when I finally received a clear answer this past week.  It came in the form of a blog post I stumbled upon through singer Jamie Grace.  Her mom, Mama Mona Harper, shared 3 Quick Tips for Mothers With Daughters: Now Taking Orders (I shared it on Facebook after I read it). 

Mama Mona inspired and encouraged me most when she stated:

I didn’t tell my daughters to ignore the world, I gave them the Word. I simply lifted and sacrificially lived Christ before them. I showed them something awesome to glean. I was different from my peers, I was peculiar and so were they. They still are. I didn’t look like mainstream women because I danced to a different drum beat,...

I suddenly felt peace.  No matter how Christian we get, we can never have too much Christ!  Do I need to divulge in the world to understand the world?  No, I don't think so.  Human nature is rather similar no matter where you are, no matter what you do.  We were all created by God and that is the baseline I need to focus on.  How else will the world tell me apart?

I'm grateful for these growth points. For times when my faith is able to tread the long path of understanding and discovery because at the end of each of these searching journeys, I find myself one step closer to Jesus and the view is marvelous!

In case you wondered about my other two location points.... I can't explain it except to say God just gave me a peace that I am right.where.I.need.to.be. and where He is, that is good enough for me!

Blessings to you as you travel the spiral of the walk in spiritual life.  I pray you find yourself one-step-closer at the end of your path.