Montage Moments

My life has been a montage of moments.  I mesh of memories, current compellings and future hopes.  Frustrating, exciting, drawing, drowning, underwhelmed, overwhelmed and just.whelmed.

Life.

It isn't the simplicity of those sweet soft curly headed days when diaper explosions and dinner explosions were the biggest deterrent in my otherwise (mostly) structured world.  Where bed time was just that, bed time.  Sleepy eyes drifted shut (even if they needed some coaxing first) and the quietness of the house enveloped me as I would often draw out my leather bound bible and the hard cover of my journal would flip open to the next neat page.

Life was order.

I couldn't see it in the buzz then.  But it was.  My faith and hope grew in leaps and bounds in those days.  Studies, sermons and searching which was more readily available then I realized then.

Now.

Will they stay up?  Will they stalk me for a late night chat on life and living and growing.  Will they jump up early to join me in the quiet of Bible time, flipping up their leather bounds and hard covers?  Will they need me?  Will they busy themselves?  Will they laugh or cry today?  Will hearts explode while dinner cooks?  Will sleepless nights ensue as futures loom?

Like is non-stop.

This non-stop, fast-track, all in need of one mama's heart while this one mama's heart scrapes and searches for those deep heart moments, alone, wrapped in the quiet that once was in sleepy hours with a leather-worn Bible resting on my knee and journal pages filling with His Word, His Hope and the heart of a mother on the grow.

I never would have guessed or expected life to be like this. 

Right smack-dab in the mix I lost something.  I lost my focus in the mess of the montage.  Praise be to God who never looses His focus on me though.  In the midst of the mayhem he filtered in messages. 

When bitterness over past experiences and present knowledge of the health (or rather, unhealthiness) of the church began to scrape for a hold, His voice whispered give grace, don't let bitterness sink in. 

When weariness of the Work was wearing me down, tugging at my temper, His voice whispered hold on a little longer.

When fear reached for a grip and worry was trying to overwhelm, His whispers did not stop, I am your comfort and your peace.

Monday was mayhem.  I was certain the chaos of the montage in my mind could not get much worse without breaking me.  Friday I laughed out loud and all but danced to the song in my heart as victory laid claim to the dry and parched land.... streams of water gushed forth.

All that I blog about here, Ashley's prospects for school and work, Brenden and Brooke preparing for summer missions, our family's experiences with the church in this country, extended family full of brokenness and this one mom who, like most moms, often asks if I have, am, and are planning to do it all right.... have I done my best part in each of these situations and what is coming down the pipe... what do I still need to do... and so on.

Somehow all this din deafened me and in the past 24 hours the trumpet shouts broke through. 

It started with a song.  One of those which drifts over the radio waves in familiar tones.  So familiar you tuck it aside.  I can't remember the name of the song, I was doing such a good job of tucking it I barely paid attention.  Yet, in the midst of the hum these words drifted through and lodged in my heart and mind:

...You are the God of the Mountains that I face...

I looked up and there before me I saw montage mountain.  Un-climbable.  Right above Mt. Montage was my heavenly Father and I knew right then: how could I ever doubt my ability to climb a mountain when, with my eyes fixed on Him, nothing was impossible.

Then, last evening, an un-expected email addressing a real-time problem in a church we once served came through.  My heart ached for their dilemmas and I knew I had to let go.  My prayers were the best I could offer and in the midst of this mediated message between other parties were the words, focus on your blessings, and the reminder of how our focus greatly impacts our spiritual health.

How could I have lost this focus?  I thought I was doing fine. 

But I wasn't.

 

This morning, the flood gates opened.  I woke heavy of heart.  My stress?  Tomato plants being eaten by bugs and a garden investment beyond what I planned and now in danger of being wasted.  Stress, worry, dark clouds brewing I sat down in front of a scripture calender I have had up for the last 29 days.  I stared at the same passage from Psalm 29 which I have stared at multiple times since May's page flipped.  This time was different (KJV says it best):

Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.

Psalm 29:2 (KJV)

worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.  Something told me I didn't have the beauty of holiness right now.  Worship is HUGE to me (it should be to every Christian but that is another story for another day). Needless to say, my heart broke.  If I want to give God the glory due to him then I needed to worship in holiness.  My best holiness was missing.  In that moment my heart ached and I asked, how do I get it back? 

God reminded me that I had shifted my focus from Him to my circumstances.  Even something as small as the garden, He was in control.  He also showed me how I had quit praying over all the little things.  I had even quit praying for his guidance and blessing over our finances, instead reverting to a mode of 'I can do this' and a business-like attitude in all my dealings.  Faith isn't business, it is a way of life.

Priority and Pray.  Prioritize life's needs both financial and physical and pray over each point.  Quit looking at the moment.  Instead, look to God who is over the mountain.  NOTHING can overtake me and steal my joy if I do. 

Prepared to close my journal with excitement, one last word filtered in.  I felt led to read ONE entry on my Bible Read-through plan which, in my next installment, had me in Psalms. 

Put not your trust in princes

in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation

When his breath departs

he returns to the earth;

on that very day his plans perish

Psalm 146:3-4

I had been looking to princes all this time.  Why?  When they are gone... when I am gone.... when this world falls away, their plans will perish.  God's Word jumped right off the page.  It didn't stop there...

Blessed is he whose help is in the God of Jacob

Whose hope is in the Lord his God.

Psalm 146:5

When I remember and heed God's help, placing my hope in Him, I will be blessed.

I want to be blessed!!!

...the Lord loves the righteous...

Psalm 146:8b

I want to be righteous!  I want to worship in holiness!!!

The Lord watches over the sojourners...

Psalm 146:9a

I am only passing through.  I have not passed out of His sight.  God is with me and I can see his face IF I keep my eyes on him, His help and His hope...

Leather bounds and hard covers closed with an AMEN!  I flipped on the radio and danced across the room as this song came blaring through the speakers:

I could hear that thunder and I sang His name and rejoiced as a result!

I don't want to turn back.  I don't want to slip back where I have been.  It may take time and accountability and deliberate directives, but it is worth it!

I pray your montage moments don't run a-muck in your life!  That you hear the thunder, sing His name and feel the pouring rain on dry bones...

Blessings,

Ready to Wed in Review

It may seem odd that I might request such a book for review.  After many years of marriage it is hardly a necessary topic of interest.  But it is.  If I take the call of a Titus 2 woman seriously, I am reminded how important it is that I do not forget those younger years and seek opportunities to be well versed in the issues facing new marriages today.  Besides, all my children are approaching that age and interest as well.  My husband and I had a very unconventional courtship and early marriage (neither of us were Christians at the time) I felt I needed to see the advice of experts in order to advise well.

Many couples will say that their first year of marriage was difficult.  For some reason, we think that two totally different people coming together to share life will be easy.  Two people from two different families with different upbringings, ideas, thoughts, feelings, and emotions-no problem.... 

- Tim Popadic, Ready to Wed

Ready to Wed was that expert advice I needed.  I found the book's instruction and shared experiences mirrored what I would tell any couple preparing to take the plunge.  I may not have started out Christian, but as I came to the Lord I found myself applying many of the concepts this book discusses.  I was certain, at that point, it must be Holy Spirit inspired!


The book is divided into 12 topics.  Authored by Dr. Greg and his wife Erin Smalley, they open the writing podium up to other topic-relevant expert advisers to offer their own words of guidance and encouragement.  Intrigued?  Here are the 12 topics they discuss in detail:

Leaving your Parents and Cleaving to Your Spouse
The Power of Commitment
Honoring You All the Days of My Life
Soul Mates: Building Spiritual Intimacy
One Flesh: Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
Communication: The Language of Love
We are So Different!
What Do You Expect?
Fight Our Way to a Better Marriage
Teammates: Ending the Chore Wars Before They Start
Our Money Relationship
Storm Shelter: Dealing with Stress and Crisis

The series of insight is kicked off with a chapter discussing God's Design for Marriage.  This and the intro prepare couples to take the book's journey, and marriage as a whole, together.  The authors are good to remind couples that marriage isn't about the wedding day... it is about every day after.  Their views are refreshing and to-the-point, helping couples tackle the hard topics (and some topics which most people don't discover need tackling until much farther into the marriage) right-up-front. 

Scripture references appear throughout the pages helping couples recognize God's design for their future. Each chapter walks them through the topic being discussed with first an intro, then a relevant story from either personal or counseling experience, next some advice and insight on topic and scenarios and finally the topic is turned inward by presenting discussion topics and challenges for couples to take in an effort to set up realistic expectations and understandings even before they say "I Do"!

I knew, after the first few pages, this would be my new gift to ANY couple upon their engagement. The book is intended to be walked through AS A COUPLE over 12 separate sessions before the wedding day.  Doing the math, consider purchasing this book at least 3 months before the wedding (or sooner) if you want to tackle a topic per week.  However, there are no set rules for this book and 'cramming' weeks before a wedding would be most definitely acceptable!

Conversely, Ready to Wed can be helpful for ANY couple, especially those struggling in their marriage and feeling you could use a refresher on this journey of wedded matrimony.  I found many of the chapters helpful reminders for my own marriage, even as secure as we are, and feel certain points issued a much needed booster-shot to areas of my relationship with my husband.  This seems especially true when you consider this statement in chapter 13:

Opposition happens in a couple's life for many different reasons and can come in many different forms. The target of opposition is to keep you marriage from its God-given destiny-becoming what God intended it to be.

No matter how long you are married, the opposition is real, so why not arm couples with the tools they need to fight it from the beginning?!  Ready to Wed is a GREAT weapon in any arsenal.

The only issue I took with the book was the fee for some of the tools the book refers you to.  I feel this is a ministry and I understand the book costs money to print, but once a couple has invested in the book (possibly even 2 copies), all materials to enhance the experience online should be free. It looked like only the financial tools had no cost related to them.

The other issue (and not entirely an issue or fault of the authors, rather, a cautiousness on my part) is the suggestion to find a mentor couple and stressing the importance of this.  Good advice, so why do I consider this an issue?  Because there are MANY couples out there whose marriages look more secular then Christian.  The book does not give clear guidelines for what to look for in a mentor couple and, therefore, the couple reading and following this advice might randomly pick a couple they simply 'like' without considering where this couple's spiritual walk is in their marriage.... ultimately leading to pour mentoring and contradictory advice which could be exasperating for the perspective newlyweds.

On that note, my advice: IF you know a couple who truly seeks to honor God in their honor of one another, does not cut each other down, does not treat each other like the couples in your favorite sitcom and who is, without a single doubt, faith-filled in every single area of their life.... seek them as your mentor couple.  If not, it is better to do without a mentor couple then to have the wrong one!  The Holy Spirit was my mentor as well as looking at all the bad marriages around me and choosing NOT to duplicate them!

I pray your marriage (perspective or current) is blessed with readiness for each situation.  If you are secure in your 'bliss' then I pray you might be that mentor couple who guides others on a path of real and lasting relationships.

Blessings,

Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Mooring at the Cross

I'm working on a review for a book concerning getting ready to marry (hopefully to be posted by the week's end).  It is like a convergence in my life right now:  the book, my daughter read and shared Fireproof, we watched the movie (of course!), a family member struggling in a new marriage, and my own reflections on the trials and triumphs in my own marriage.  Then the above graphic appeared in my private Facebook feed. 

I shared.

How could I not?  Within hours, however, I thought of the typical mindset of couples upon reading the above.  It goes something like this:

YES!  And I am always giving 100 but he/she isn't. 

Which inevitably leads to this next statement and/or thought:

I shouldn't be the only one ALWAYS giving 100 when he/she doesn't. 

Next thing you know there are separate households and separated hearts.

I know, because I once spoke these heartbreaking statements and I have known many others who have as well.  Men and women my husband and I will try to counsel through the sharing of our own testimony have fought to deny the Truth.  A testimony reflecting a give more like 5/100, with myself on the 100 end.  When my husband became a born-again Christian he apologized for most of his first year.  He recognized  and he repented.... for something I had long-since forgiven him for.  I share in-depth on how God gave me A Heart for my Husband here, so I won't restate the entire story now.

I began to cringe as the illuminated graphic stared back at me from Facebook.  It is such a GREAT graphic for those who know... but so many will read this and not know...

They won't know that YOU, yourself, need to always give 100%

They won't stop to consider the impact 100% has on any less percentage.

They won't remember the apostle Paul when he says:

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

1 Corinthians 7:12-13

They won't consider WHY it is so important to always give 100%:

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Corinthians 7:16

I know I shared these scriptures in the previous marriage article, this is simply a reminder of how and when to reference them.  Marriage should be 100/100 but it often isn't... at least not 100% of the time.  I would almost restate the graphic to say Marriage is effort exerted 100/100. That is to say 100% of the effort we have available because, lets face it, some days we don't have much left.  This is where one of my favorite statements enter and washes away any need to keep up with each other's numbers!

Marriage isn't a give-and-take, a meet in the middle, in marriage we are meant to meet at the foot of the cross.

I don't have the exact quote anymore where this ideal came from.  I have noticed, though, when I quit looking at WHO is GIVING MORE and start just focusing on the cross, much of my stress rolls away.  Sure, sometimes I'm sitting at the foot of the cross alone (and sometimes my husband is). Doesn't it make it easier when you go 'looking' and you don't find each other lost and wandering but instead, you are drawn through your own troubles by finding the strength of your spouse as they are sitting at the feet of Jesus? 
 

It is like trying to pull a drifting boat to shore when the mooring line and ores are sitting on the dock.  It always helps to have one person on the dock rather than both in the boat trying to paddle with your hands until exhaustion sets in!

Realistically, I know, sometimes we are stuck in that boat together.  That is OK. Two voices calling for help is much louder than one!  Join forces!!  Seek the foot of the cross together and don't worry about numbers, who is giving a 100 and who isn't.  Lift each other up, spur each other on. If you are the one sitting at the foot of the cross, call out to the one who isn't, pray for them, don't give up. They will make it and perhaps your perseverance, holding and pulling that line, will be what God uses to get them there.

I pray your marriage is flourishing at the foot of the cross... whether you see 100/100 or simply the pleasure of your spouses company... and if not, I trust your, through your effort, God will make sure you both get there!

Blessings,

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