Our Story and the Gift of Dyslexia

I watched as he squinted his tiny eyes, turning his head to make out the words.  Some days I caught him with his book upside-down.... and reading better than when it was right-side up.  In kindergarten they threatened to flunk him.  Wanting to avoid humiliation on anyone's part I negotiated afternoon classes to re-enforce his learning.  It helped enough to pass him into 1st grade.

I couldn't understand.  My son wasn't 'stupid'.  Flunking, reading problems... it didn't make sense.  He was a model student.  He always paid attention to the teacher, though sometimes it seemed like he couldn't hear... perhaps residual from being almost completely def as a toddler.  He worked tirelessly, never complaining, on every single assignment handed to him.  And where most kids would buckle under the pressure of reading impossible words... he only tried harder.

What was wrong with my sweet son?

2nd grade brought the answer I was beginning to suspect.  A series of tests revealed my son had moderate to severe Dyslexia.  He scored rather high for Dyslexia in the reading sections and measured quite steadily for Dysgraphia as well (like dyslexia, dysgraphia deals with the writing aspect).  We had our meeting with the school counselor, my son's teacher and a classroom aid.  Classroom accommodations were discussed and plans for assisting him at home were set forth.  I was relieved: finally we can start making ground.

Each day seemed to bring renewed frustration though.  My son began to dislike school.  I was told he missed recess regularly because he 'wouldn't' do his work on time, caught daydreaming and still desperately struggling to read.  What was happening with my sweet, compliant child?  I paid closer attention to his habits when I visited and helped in his classroom.  As I observed, the problem was quickly revealed: The dyslexia and dysgraphia made it difficult to take notes.  The teacher would write notes on the board but as my son would go to copy he couldn't keep up when his learning delay took over.  Eventually he would give up and simply 'zone out'.  Recess would arrive and no notes meant no recess so he was stuck inside still copying the board while his friends screeched and laughed at the playground outside his classroom window.  My heart ached for him.  I tried to talk with the teacher.  It seemed like such an injustice, especially for a mere 2nd grader.

The final blow came when reading with him one night.  He froze and became teary-eyed.  He wasn't trying to squint his eyes or turn his book, he merely sat, frozen, petrified and over-whelmed.  When I inquired why he didn't just turn the book to help he nearly fell apart: "My teacher won't let me."  I couldn't believe my ears, but my son had never lied before.  I pursued the issue further with his teacher.  I discovered he was getting in trouble in class for sitting on his legs so he could hover over the words.  He would also get in trouble for turning his book upside down.  The teacher explained that she couldn't let him do these things, or the rest of the class would think they could to.  I couldn't understand why she couldn't just relay to the class how my son needed those accommodations.

My heart ached and cried for my son.  But God used this... He told me almost audibly: I want YOU to teach your children.  He had been whispering it since my oldest was in preschool 10 years prior to this moment.  I loved teaching and helping in class and being part of their learning process but I pushed the idea aside.  I felt under-qualified, inept.  I didn't have a degree in teaching, I had book knowledge and writer's knowledge.  My studies had been in business assisting and medical billing. But God showed me I was, in fact, best qualified to instruct my children and as the issues mounted with my sweet son's dyslexia, I knew what God was saying at that very moment: it is time - no more running from the Call.

7 years ago I made the decision to answer the Call and pull my children from public school and begin homeschooling.  As if God's leading wasn't enough, my son's second grade teacher made a glaring and pivotal point: you can't fully accommodate when you have a classroom full of kids who can do their work the "normal" way.  I saw that at every end of the spectrum, with 4 children and 4 different learning styles and needs from average to accelerated.  Looking at my son, knowing how absolutely important reading and writing were to life, I knew it was time to become an expert on him and how he could rise above "normal" to touch the extraordinary he was.

I have tried to become an "expert" on the Gift of Dyslexia... but I am not!  I have gained a great deal of experience though and I know many parents out there NEED to hear there is hope and need to know what to do.  I feel Led to write regular articles here to discuss how we have managed this gift and pray to encourage those of you who have the need to be encouraged!  For now, I want to leave you with this bit of encouragement...

As I type this my marvelous son just started the 3rd book in the Inkheart series.  He has been devouring the books of this series one-per-month.  Last year alone he read the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings (Fellowship of the Ring) and is 3/4 of the way through Two Towers (he decided to take a break from the monotony of the chronicles to explore Inkheart).  I never thought I would see my dyslexic avidly enjoying such great works!  It didn't come over night... but it came.  He is even starting Algebra and doing math problems with ease in his head... something which seemed impossible just a few short years ago.

So many times I think of the apostle Paul's beseeching to run the race and keep steadfast to the track ahead... the goal WILL be reached.  If it is true of our faith and living for Christ, how much can it be true for all of life as well?

Patient understanding, perseverance and holding on when you want to let go... it.will.pay.off.

If you or someone you know are working with a dyslexic or gifted child, hold on, keep at it, don't give up.  You WILL see fruit from all your labor.


Blessings,

Confessions of a Homeschool Mom

I received an email earlier this week from a friend who is homeschooling her child with disabilities.  Apparently they both had a melt-down at the beginning of the week and she felt horrible.  She was not as patient as she knew she  needed to be... as sweet as she is, her patience simply ran out.

I think we can all relate.

But that wasn't enough.  Friday has come and she is still a bit tore up for getting so upset with her son.  My heart went out to her and here, I must share my response... at least in part:

Don't beat yourself up too bad about Monday.  I went through that for the first couple of years I was homeschooling because of Ashley's ADHD, it drove me batty.  Brenden would frustrate me sometimes too but his mellow attitude was what saved him from wrath! [He has severe dyslexia and dysgraphia]  It is never completely easy, but over the years I have come to realize, by way of divine shoulder tapping, that the single most important skill for my children to know for life is how to read and understand their Bible and grow a relationship with Christ (and teach others the same).  Even if "reading" means listening to the scriptures on their MP3 players :-)  

I try to poor in all I can academic wise and I pray every time, like my Monday, when I see something missing or somewhere we are a bit behind.  I am reminded that the beauty of homeschool is; we are never really behind and they are never truly struggling.  As long as we are teaching and loving they are learning.  And with your [son] (and my Brenden at times) it may mean teaching in nibbles instead of big bites.  It may mean they forgot what we learned last week... and we have to love them in spite of that and remember... we are good teachers, God appointed us and told us so... he will bring to their recollections what and when is needed.

Be at peace in your heart.  Sometimes we need to stumble backwards to step forwards.  Give grace... not because you should or they need it... no, give grace simply because God gave grace, how can we do any less?  And he is giving you grace right now too... embrace it and love God for it.

I share this here because I think, if we truly opened up confessions, we all struggle like this at times.  Even public school teachers loose their cool and have bad days (I have horror stories from my children's homeschool days to testify to that!)  All teachers, public and home, are human.  And all children, like adults, have their bad days... especially when they are children with disabilities.  But God's grace is sufficient.

Don't look at your homeschool year as a whole... look at it it bit-by-bit.  See progress not just illusive goals and remember, if you are teaching and showing them the love of Christ, they will be sufficient... all else will catch up and come in its time.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  

- Ecclesiastes 3:1, 9-11

Have a blessed weekend!

 

Linking up with Sue today at The Homeschool Chick

Intimidating exuberance

I have a friend who just started homeschooling this year. She was an elementary school teacher B.C. (before children). I didn't know her when she taught, but I am guessing she was VERY good. She really knows how to get on a kid's level. She knows how to get things done. She is very smart, very creative, and she has an amazing heart for Christ. I truly look up to her.

I don't know if it was our decision to start homeschooling last year that inspired her to homeschool this year. It could have been other factors. Either way, we have been each other's cheering section. The support we give each other is relative to that I have been finding in reading many of the blogs in the Blogging Carnival.

Recently I was stumped though. B is good friends with her son the same age. We finally started last week with B going to her house to sleep over and attend AWANAS. We are hoping to make it a weekly thing since poor B is "girl trapped" (as my kids call it) during the day with two sisters! The testosterone boost of her three sons is good for him now and again! And AWANAS is right up his alley since he seems to have an innate interest in the Word of God.

My friend called and gave me an update on their day. She decided to take a "light" homeschooling schedule since B was there. I was fine with it either way... I trust her guidance. But her "light" day entailed so much! They did cross-lateral exercises (B's friend has learning disabilities as well), they did math, they did writing, the did puzzles... and that was just in the morning! I found myself feeling largely inadequate.

I have been dabbling in combining Unit Studies and a certain level of unschooling lately. I do think the three "R's" are very important but I don't take as structured an approach as my friend does. I use to. When we first started homeschooling I made it more like school at home. I felt that the children wanted it/needed it after being pulled out of public school. I thought it would help them see that we were seriously intending to learn/educate.

We had perils shortly after starting homeschooling though. Situations outside of education but directly effecting it none-the-less. I decided to scale back our plans of attack and by the end of the "school year" we were truly doing Un-schooling.

As the new school year started for this year I was ready to get back on the ball. I had figured out that complete Un-schooling was not the route I desired. Ash and her ADHD couldn't move forward in that format. But I didn't want full school-at-home either. None-the-less, we started our year as Unit Study combined with diluted school-at-home.

All was going well. The one down-side was that our schedule was so strictly drawn out that we would want to investigate a topic further but instead felt pushed forward and past exploration by a "schedule". I was beginning to suspect that another adjustment was needed.

In December we were sitting in our "circle" area. This entails a circle rug we painted together when first starting homeschool. We sit at it to have discussions that require direct focus. We sometimes use it for other purposes as needed. This particular day in December we were sharing some information in a book. B was sitting off to the side fidgeting with some other things in our vicinity. I was growing frustrated that he wasn't "paying attention" so I directed him to turn around and participate. I asked him if he had even heard what I was saying and he said, "yes", and repeated, word for word what I had just been telling his sisters!

I was stumped. I realized that day that, as I have learned in my research, Visual Spatial learners do not always have to be directly attending information in order to obtain it. I had always taken that concept for granted. But the research and advice is there for a reason! Perhaps it was about time I took it!

After our Christmas break I decided to start sampling different approaches. We are only two months post-break and I am still sampling the waters, but so far so good. Our one month space study has turned into two. Some days we just read, other days we just do science or art. Every day I require the kids to read to me and every day I issue some sort of math challenge.

I encourage them to write but I don't usually force it. However, the ways that I do incorporate writing is encouraging to them and much less of a battle. Ash chooses to write on her own anyway. I suppose that is a natural attribute of a pre-teen!

We play a lot of games and I strive to involve them in every aspect of our daytime routines as possible. If I am baking I will call them in to help and measure. If I am trying to figure something out, I call them in to observe the process and contribute in whatever way possible.

We implemented a no-t.v. policy a few weeks ago to encourage self-initiated exploration of books and projects that would otherwise go by the wayside when electronics are available. It is working well.

So my point, my conclusion? Yes, I was intimidated and overwhelmed by my friend's exuberance. But I had to quickly remind myself that, while what she is doing is wonderful, it isn't what we do and that is ok.

Each child and each family will progress in their own way and in their own time. Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error. It can require changes now and again when something quits working. That is one of the beauties of homeschool though... it is what you need it to be and it can be adjusted at any time to better fit those needs. Homeschooling is as individual as the families that are blessed to be part of its discipline.