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They say, a family that plays together- stays together.
I say, a family that prays together - experiences God together.
My blog-roll is quiet this week as we join together as a family and pray over some giant changes we see on the horizon. Searching - listening - waiting - discerning. It is hard to pour into anything else when you are waiting for God to pour into you.
Do you take time to pray together as a family... especially when you see change coming your way?
My hope and prayer is that God touches your heart in all the special ways you need him to right now.
As for me, I hope to be back in FULL FORCE next week!
I studied Ecclesiastes today... all of Ecclesiastes today. It is suspected to be written towards the end of Solomon's life as he looks retro-intro-spectfully at a life lived in wisdom but in folly. To come to the end of himself and see where true Value lies... and to be called to share that Wisdom with others.
I pondered many of his verses today, scribbled deep-heart thoughts in my journal, yet the simple truth from 7:14 is what I felt best to share in the blog-roll. Because the truth is... the good is always surrounded by the bad but one without the other just does not build the character and understanding which draws us closest to the righteousness we are called to strive for in life...
The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone.
Ecclesiastes 12:13
Be blessed this Sunday, to know God is with you in all seasons...
I have had a rough day. It is a long story about ministry failures and heartaches and time invested with no return all ending with me just wanting to crawl into a corner by myself and be left alone. That feeling like I can do nothing.Not the I can do nothing without Christ kind-of-nothing. The, everything I touch just isn't working out right now kind of nothing... and yet in all these things I am seeking to follow Christ.
I know, if I say anything to my husband, he would be quick to misunderstand and sit me down and say that is because YOU aren't meant to do it... I would have to roll my eyes and nod and say... duhhh...
I mean... I know. (can you see why God has called me to Bloom in my marriage... I kinda need it, don't I? lol) But that isn't what I mean. I AM A WOMAN, a mom, a
wife, a servant of God. I am not content with idleness and right now I
feel like EVERY-SINGLE-ROUTE of exertion is being closed and
not-so-politely. And in this moment I feel bitter. Yes... bitter. I don't like that and I know I need to get a hold of that lest it eats me up.
If I had a car, I would drive to one of the nearby buttes and hike with the rest of my day. Stay up there, watch the sun set, and contemplate... search. But I don't. So I hike the Web. I search for the vista. One that maybe I can wallow in self-pity on. I don't know what else to do with my time. My bubble is popped, my
bitterness has infected and I can't even WRITE... why bother.
But that isn't where God takes me. No, he takes me to this:
Suddenly I realize it: I am invisible.
How many times have I been invisible. It is NOT an unfamiliar concept or feeling or state. But this time has been different. In tear-streaked self-pity,
I submit that I am searching for something I won't find in God's
design.
I want what I do to be seen.
I want what I do to be right.
I want to see a
cathedral built, beginning-to-end. But I can't.
I, and all I do, am supposed to be invisible.
Investing my life and my work to Him and the cathedrals which take life times -
plural - to build. Until I have a peace with that... I will have peace
with nothing else.
So this is me - in the raw. Those un-based emotions which I believe all women share at one time or another. The emotions that make us want to give up or walk away or lock ourselves in a room and hide. Because the truth is: this path is not easy to walk. My husband is usually
right. God does not want me to push just to do things the way I think they should be.
I need
to except invisible service to an invisible God.
I don't see Him, but, like the wind, I can see the leaves rustle, the trees move... I can feel it brush my face with fresh kisses...
so our God moves through our lives making known his presence here. And if I am called to righteousness = seeking to be more like him... than I should be content with all movements, big and small, seen and unseen... no time or effort is wasted even when it seems to bear NOTHING. I and all I do should be invisible...that HE might be seen that much better.
I am not looking to glorify myself... that isn't what this is about. But I think, often, I want to know that my work has value. That the time I invest in a project or thing has value... even if I am not attached to that value... I just want to know IT has value. But I can't always.
I have to be OK with every point of everything I do being invisible. Whether or not it is.
My prayer today is for every mother, wife, teacher, worker, server... to feel SEEN BY GOD even when you feel invisible to the world.
